Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize