why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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