Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
