so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
