Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
