Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
