im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
