I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
