I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
im holly from the hills drunk
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
