have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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