Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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