what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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