from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
