And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
