i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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