thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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