o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
