It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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