When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
