i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
