can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
