Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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