Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
