So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
