as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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