the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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