i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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