Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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