no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
