This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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