Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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