So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
