Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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