May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
