I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
