I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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