Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
