Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
they need to just BURY HIM!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
