she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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