Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
