I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
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A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
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The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Never underestimate the power of titties
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