Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
