every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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