It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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