after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
