if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
this must be what syphilis tastes like
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
