So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
