Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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