Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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