P.S. I can't hear my feet
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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