I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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