I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
