In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
