You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
