What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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