Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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