what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
