you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
