Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
sex in a hospital.. check
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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